I am sitting in a cafe working while my daughter attends an art class down the street. As I log onto my website's portal in order to work on my blog, I get a notification about the monthly charge being due – immediate derailment of thoughts in full swing! I start thinking about finances, about other things that need to be paid, and family business that I need to attend to. I need to call oral surgeons to find a good place for my son's wisdom teeth to be pulled, and I need to make a follow up appointment for my other son who just had his appendix out. As my mom always says, it's never dull! One distraction leads to another, and I quickly go down the rabbit hole of fears and worries.
The bill notification sparked a million other thoughts, and it prompted me to look at my analytics page–like is this website even getting any visitors anyway? Let me Google how many visitors I need in order to make some money. Now let me Google how I can get those visitors. What else can I do to make money? How can I give my business a boost? My mind jumps to a million places in the span of five minutes. I am feeling desperate and anxious.
Then I remember the task at hand, which is to write the first of ten posts for my Warrior Ways series. Let me just do that. As I pull the title from my last post which introduces all ten topics, and paste it into the subject line here, I am immediately transported into the world of mindfulness. Ah–this is what I need: to be present. I need to focus on what is happening right now. I need to clear my mind of all that other white noise, more commonly known as fears and worries. I do that by bringing myself, my overactive mind included, right back to the here and now. I say to myself:
Right now, I am safe.
Right now, I am happy.
Right now, I am loved.
What does it mean to be mindful?
If I am being mindful, my thoughts should stay in the present moment. If I find myself thinking about something that happened in the past or worrying about something that might or might not happen in the future, I should acknowledge that my mind wandered, and bring it back to the present moment without judgment. In my case, I might start thinking about bills and finances. Once I notice that I am thinking about that, I will give myself permission to let that thought go, and bring my attention back to my current surroundings. In order to do that, there are a number of techniques I can use.
Why is practicing mindfulness important?
We can all agree that physical activity, or exercise, is important for maintaining good physical health for our bodies. What about our brains? How can we be sure to keep our brains in shape, especially with technology doing its best to not only think for us, but in an effort to keep us entertained, sending a consistent barrage of stimuli making it almost impossible to maintain focus for longer than a thirty second reel or TikTok video (no hate to either). The truth is, doing some of the short and simple mindfulness exercises that I mentioned above is equivalent to doing curls for your biceps. You don’t just expect your arms to be strong or your muscles to grow without putting in the work. The same is true for our brains.
If you read the introduction to this series, the suggested exercise was to keep track of your recurring thoughts. We all have a playlist of thoughts that is in constant heavy rotation. These are thoughts that we have accumulated over the course of our lives based on our experiences, what other people tell us, our worries and fears, and our egos trying to keep us small and safe. These are also commonly referred to as limiting beliefs, intrusive thoughts, or imposter syndrome. As you can tell by the names, they are generally not uplifting, but they are loud and unrelenting.
The easy thing to do is nothing. If you don’t lift weights, you won’t get stronger. Easy. If you don’t do exercises with your brain, your heavy rotation playlist will keep on playing. Generally, that playlist consists of things like, “I don’t belong here,” “I’m not good enough,” “I’m not smart enough,” or quite simply, “I am not enough.” Think of the neural pathways between your experiences and these thoughts as trenches.The trenches of those thoughts have been dug so deeply that it really takes effort to change them. Imagine that you are at the beach, and there are some trenches that have been dug in the sand close to the shore. As the wave comes in, the water will automatically fill those trenches up. Just like when you are triggered by an uncomfortable situation, such as a presentation or job interview, the thoughts flow to the trenches in your brain that have already been dug–“I can’t do this.” or “I am not enough.” It’s automatic, and it takes no effort. The trenches are already there.
The good news is that you CAN dig new trenches. It takes a little bit of time, and it takes some work. At the beach you need to dig trenches as well as fill in the old ones. The water will keep going into those old trenches until they have fully been replaced with new ones. Our brains work the same way. The wave is the trigger, so let’s say you have the opportunity to give a speech at a conference. The wave comes in and the water flows to the old trenches, “I’m not a very good speaker. What if they don’t like me? I don’t even belong in this space.” Those negative thoughts might cause you to pass up on the opportunity, in which case your ego completed its job of keeping you small and safe.
How about starting to dig those new trenches instead? Every time the wave comes in, or everytime we feel triggered, let’s redirect our thoughts to the new trenches. Those trenches might remind you of a time when you felt very confident, or when you accomplished something that surprised you. You might say, “I am excited for the opportunity to grow!” or “I can do this!” Those thoughts are motivating, and although you will still be nervous, you will go for it! In doing this, you can actually change the neural pathways in your brain. like physically, your brain changes! Isn’t that wild?
How does all of that relate to mindfulness and exercising the brain? It is twofold.
Fun Facts about the science of staying in a positive thought cycle:
More positive effects of a regular mindfulness/meditation practice:
Quite simply, the more you are hyper-focused on what is happening now, the less you are stuck worrying about what happened in the past and fearing what might or might not happen in the future. Now, everything is fine. What a wonderful gift to give yourself and your loved ones around you - to be fully present in your body and enjoying your surroundings.
We don’t meditate to get better at meditating, we meditate to get better at life. We meditate to exercise that muscle in our brains that allows us to take back control of our minds and to drown out the white noise. We meditate so that we don’t get triggered, and even if we do, we can connect with that inner peace because we have been training for this moment and react differently.
Mindfulness exercises:
If you missed the introduction to this series, find it here.
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