My Forties - Reprogramming Myself for Success

I remember turning forty (I’m forty seven now) and thinking that my thirties had been about getting my family together. I hoped that my forties were going to be about getting my career together.

My oldest was born when I was thirty, my second at 35, and my third at 40. Literally the entire decade was dedicated to child rearing and keeping the family together through lots of unexpected twists and turns. That included a sudden but necessary move out of the country, having to start over again multiple times in terms of career, and lots of financial struggle. By forty my family unit felt solid. We just hadn’t found solid ground to stand on. I was excited to see what my forties might bring.

I had also been watching the whole fabulous forties movement that Oprah and other celebrities had started when they turned forty. And it had been awhile so by now fifty is the new forty, right? Meaning I was feeling pretty young and optimistic about the whole thing, and I was definitely ready to sign up for my fabulous forties.

In my fortieth year we decided to uproot the family and move back from Mexico to San Francisco. This would mean starting all over again - again. But don’t worry, folks, I’m forty, right!? Exciting things are supposed to happen to me now. After all, my career is scheduled to take off anytime!

We came back to secure a better future for ourselves, so our focus was going to be climbing the success ladder.  I say “was going to be” because for the longest time we struggled just to balance the ladder let alone get to the first rung. It was as if we were holding the ladder in the palms of our hands and running back and forth in an effort to get it to stand up straight. It took us way longer than we thought to find that spot, and until we did we couldn’t even think about climbing.   

I have learned so much since then. 

I learned that I was focused completely on the wrong things. In a variety of different ways, but all wrong. First I thought that the right job, or the right career - if it would just present itself - was the answer. I searched and searched, including as deep down as I could in my soul, and wondered why the answer didn’t come screaming in like a freight train and knock me down. I was waiting for that kind of sign. Anything less than that I surely would have missed. 

The search for my purpose began. I took some courses online, went through exercises that were supposed to help me find my purpose, and I hoped to be able to come out of that exploration with a great story of how I found why I was put on this earth. And...crickets. I came up with nothing. Well, that’s not true. I came up with knowing that what I was doing at the time, selling real estate, was absolutely and beyond the shadow of a doubt NOT what I was supposed to be doing. I knew that down to my core. I guess that’s a start. It only took me a couple of years to figure that out. 

Five years later, after having worked a job that I hated with a passion (not because of the job itself but because of an owner who ruined everything for everyone), I learned something else. I knew that I was doing it all wrong. I knew that I couldn’t keep sacrificing my days for a company I didn’t like when I had kids that I wanted to be there for, and a life I wanted to enjoy. I knew that it was wrong, but I hadn’t yet figured out what was right. But I couldn’t go back to searching for my purpose. The first time was a bust. 

Back to the drawing board. 

Back to basics.

Back to me.

You might know it as personal development. I dove in again, but this time not in search of a purpose. Not in search of anything in particular. This time there was an awareness that I needed to address my issues. I needed to work on my personal resume, not for a job, but for life. I needed to develop my skills. I had become stagnant. I wanted a pay raise, so I had to up my skills. And up my game. 

My list of things to work on:

Internal dialogue - What was I telling myself? How did I see myself?

Perspective - How could I change my view of certain parts of my life so that they lifted me up instead of tearing me down?

Forgiveness - Could I finally let go of things that had burdened me all my life?

Confidence - My weakest link but high time to conquer this one.

Mindset - I had been living in scarcity all my life. I needed to reprogram this one from way deep down.

Reprogramming is really a great way to think of it. Why bother putting the system to work again without reprogramming it? You would continue to get the same results, and I was determined to get different results this time. It was time to reprogram the machine. Then it finally came. My purpose. Obviously it had been there all along but until I cleared away the self doubt I couldn’t see it. 

My purpose is to help others reprogram themselves. To tap into their superpower whatever that might be. To learn how to cherish their uniqueness and use it for good. Because you won’t find what you need in the outside world. Everything you need is within you. It would be my pleasure to be the catalyst to help you tap into it and open up the world of possibilities that is available to you.

Stay tuned for From Stuck to Success, my self guided course that you can take on your own time to help you walk through the process of reprograming yourself for success.